2 min read

How I lost 4 kilos in 1 month

One of my good friends, James (who wants to remain anonymous), asked me how I lost weight. So for his benefit and hopefully to inspire others here it is.

  1. Learn to ride a pulsar 180 at low speeds
  2. Ride around town until you find a road with some engine oil on it.
  3. Apply brakes (disc brakes are the most prefered) as soon as you ride on the oil. (Not mandatory, usually ride on the oil suffices, but just in case)
  4. As you fall off the bike (you will, trust me on this one), use your elbow to soften the blow on your fat-saturated body.
  5. The above step, will result in you waking up in post-op in an orthopaedic hospital.
  6. Once your head is clear, call your manager and ask for a month off.
  7. Once you have got leave clearance, the natural proceedings will help you shed those extra pounds off. Any of the below mentioned acitivities will help ensure that you DO NOT try to reach for that extra cup cake/ snacks (which ever is applicable).

  8. Grow a cat, which inadvertedly jumps on your broken arm, atleast 5 times a day.

  9. Try eating with a cast on your arm

  10. Play need for speed (NFS) with two fingers

Well, there is it. Everything mentioned here, happened, and results are guaranteed for those who are brave enough to attempt it!

[tags]random thoughts[/tags]